"Flatter me and I may not believe you.
                            Criticize me and I may not like you.
                            Ignore me and I may not forgive you.
                            Encourage me and I may not forget you."   
                                                   -- William Arthur

There are m any things a person can do or say that will either build us up or tear us down.  Too often people are quick to judge, criticize, and even ignore another person.  Someone they call a friend.  So when someone comes along and flatters us and gives compliments we tend to not believe them and say things "yea right", or "only to you" and the like.  Throughout the mix of negativity, it is so hard to believe something positive.  When someone consistently provides us with negative feelings obviously we begin to feel negative towards them.  I've seen it happen, I have even had it happen to myself.  Someone I held in high regard provided a fair amount of negativity and now I look negative towards him and have a hard time even considering him a friend of mine.

On the flip side of constantly negativity and putting us down, when we have constant compliments and encouragement, we begin to find it harder to live without that person.  A few friends have consistently encouraged me to do various things, people who have provided strength through times of struggle and tribulation.  Those are the people I cannot imagine living my life without, the people who bring positivity into life are those I can never forget, even if we have parted ways and drifted apart.  It is the people in your life who motivate and encourage you to accomplish your dreams, or even encourage you to break through a comfort zone, or learn something new, that make the biggest impact in your life.  I sit and think about the people who mean the most to me and it those who have done just that.

There is a saying "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."  We are creatures that thrive off of positive vibes, so why do we spend time being negative and focusing on the negative. So what if our friend likes fast food and we don't, we shouldn't make a big deal out of it telling them how bad that food is for them.  We certainly should not be constant grammar police with our friends , we may think we are helping, but it is annoying Take time each day and think which do you project more.  Do you lift people up and give positivity more, or do you criticize and bring them down more?  . 

                  "Choices are the hinges of destiny." ~Edwin Markham

It is amazing how much our lives revolve around the decisions that we make.  One small decision can change the course of a life for either the good or bad.  We never know what course those decisions will take us.  If we did the decision making process wouldn't be so difficult.  Each possible decision has a different possible outcome, that's the excitement where will life take me next?  I spent some time recently just reflecting on past decisions, I do not regret any of them because either good or bad, they all brought me to the place I am today.  Made me into the woman I am today.  When reflecting I can help but wonder how things would have been different if a different choice was made; would things be the same?  Would I be happy?

 

Recently I made a decision.  This choice was placed to me several times within the past 6 months or so, and I was adamantly against it for several different reasons. The person who posed the decision was very persistent, so I agreed to pursue something and see where it leads.  It is terrifying not knowing where my decision is going to take me?  Of course.  But while it is scary to face something so completely unknown and not know what will happen, how things will play out, it could also be the best thing that has ever happened.  It could possibly be something I have prayed about for so long.  I am looking forward to what life has in store for me.  It is exciting, thrilling, and yes scary, and even crazy all at the same time.  No matter what happens with the choice that I have made in this matter, has already changed my life.  In my mind the change has been for the better.

 

You never know what will happen based off of one small decision, but once it is made, we shouldn't look back.  Decisions made today shape what tomorrow will bring, they can never shape what has already happened.  We can only learn from them and change bad decisions into something good.

"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”  ― Veronica Roth, Divergent

We tend to think that fear is what keeps us from doing things: that fear inhibits our abilities and puts limits on ourselves.  This isn't exactly true.  Fear wakes  us up gives us that rush of an "oh my gosh this is scary" moment.  But it is ourselves that limit our abilities because we are afraid of them.  It is not the fear itself that shuts us down but ourselves.  We think and fester on the fear and let our minds make it worse than it actually is in reality.

When we face our fears there is a sense of accomplishment, power, and control.  We get exhilarated and excited that we accomplished something and overcame a fear.  Our fears wakes us up to the fact that there is something else in this world, bigger and even scarier than ourselves.  There is something we cannot control, but it is something we can overcome and become stronger because of it.  There are plenty of things in life to be afraid of and the extent of that fear depends on the person and their experiences.  I was once afraid of water because at a young age before I could swim, I fell into the deep end of a pool.  Now you need to drag me out of the water.  Even then I was afraid of the ocean and the waves, but once I stepped foot in that water and began to feel confident, I lay there and let the waves carry me away (I make sure I can easily get back to shore of course).  But those are fears that woke me, woke a passion to overcome that fear and enjoy one of the wonders this world has to offer.

 We like to think that our fears keep us from accomplishing things.  Granted sometimes they might keep us from putting ourselves out there, keep us from taking that risk.  But at the same time doesn't it make you want that thing even more?

“You cannot be a mountain climber and a dumbass” ~ Mr. Harper at Harper’s General Store

Mr. Harper is an older gentleman who runs Harper’s general store in Seneca Rocks West Virginia.  I overheard him telling this to a young group looking for lessons on mountain climbing.  For some reason it did strike me as profound and you can look at it for different aspects of life not simply mountain climbing which is what this gentleman obviously meant it to be.

Seneca Rocks, West Virginia

Throughout life we have all kinds of mountains that we need to climb and overcome.  Some mountains are small while others tower above our heads.  Sometimes we learn the lessons we need in order to climb these mountains.  Other times we think we know to get on top and act like fools or as Mr. Harper said “dumbasses”.  What happens then?  One way or another we end up getting hurt and not completely making it out on top.  Regardless of whether we have to tools to climb or not the mountain always looms over us appearing higher than it is, but then once you get to the top, it is the greatest feeling in the world.

We tend to think we can handle anything and don’t need instructions for anything including overcoming hardships.  We act stupid sometimes and do stupid things.  We do things that will cause us to stumble and fall.  Things that inhibit us from making it to the top.  Sometimes the climb has a slight trail to follow, but we want the shortcut.  Other times we need to scale the sides of the mountain and then we look at the trail wishing we can take it.  Sometimes we think we can  handle it all on our own without help of any kind.  Then we get to a point where we don't know what to do and stumble or get lost.  Along the way we do stupid things, listen to the wrong people make the wrong decisions, but that is all a part of being humans and learning the process.

With what Mr. Harper was saying you cannot be a mountain climber and do dumb things.  You cannot climb the highest mountains without knowing what you are doing.  The same for climbing the mountains of trials in our lives; we need some idea of how to proceed with caution and do things right rather than running headfirst into the side of the mountain.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”  ~ John Lennon

John Lennon is probably one of my favorite people for various different reasons.  He was a dreamer, he believed that we would be able to live as one.  Live as a unified people and move past our differences.  We are too focused on things we have different and people think those of us who hope that one day we can get past those differences and live as one, live unified in the fact that we are different and that's the beauty of the human race.

Many of us dream of one day living as one, but the reality of that will never come to pass.  There is always going to be a group who hates another for one reason or another.  We will never see each as equal.  We move past one hurdle and overcome one stereotype and hatred only to come across a new one.  Is it human nature to need something to "disapprove" of? Something to not like, something to judge another based on?  I find it hard to look at someone and not like them or judge them based on things they cannot control, or even things they can control.  Who am I to say something is not right?   I could be doing something wrong, I am sure of it.  Does that make me a dreamer like Lennon?

While I dream and hope for a day when we all can accept one another for who were and appreciate the differences in one another that make the world go round, I doubt it will ever happen.  There will always be something that stops us from accepting one another.  Its kind of sad when you think about it.

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

 

There are a lot of moments in life that we need to just stop thinking and put trust in something or someone.  We need to have faith that things will turn out alright, the way it is supposed too.  Too often we want to know what is going to happen.  We too quickly lose faith in things when something bad begins to happen.  We look at things and think they are impossible and though sometimes we try to tackle those moments, but other times we simply give up.  No one does anything with blind faith and trust anymore.  It seems one needs to always something as proof, something tangible that things will work the way they're supposed to work. 

We no longer put faith in things; not even doctors.  We constantly question everything, asking for a second opinion on this or that.  We hear some not so savory news and automatically assume the worse and expect a bad outcome.  Years ago I had the pleasure of having a long discussion with my uncle before he had passed away.  We were talking about how we were able to continue fighting cancer (he fought for three years, I for a year).  His statement will stick with me forever; he said "I only do it through faith that it will all work out.  If I have focused on the negative, I would have given up long ago.  Faith keeps me going; I don't understand how someone can endure hardships like this without it."  Faith is something we all need from time to time if not all the time.  We need to put our trust in something and hope for the best rather than continuing to expect the worse.  We need to trust people in order for them to trust us.  Too often we look at others and wonder when they will betray us, and I admit I do that a lot.


Without faith in anything, I'm not saying faith in God or religion or anything like that, but just simple faith in all things, that things will work out and the hardships will end, how do we make it through them?  How are we able to endure all the hardships of life and continue to keep going?  How can look at life and see that good rather than the negative and wonder "why me"?  Without trust in people how will we grow together?  How will we be able to not only understand those around us, but ourselves as well?  How can we survive in this world?

And of course we all need some pixie dust so that we can soar above the clouds.  Who wouldn't want a little pixie dust from time to time?

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ~ Martin Luther King

During our troubles and struggles, we think things look so bleak and dark.  We don't think there is anything worth seeing, anything with beauty.  Sometimes though it is during those dark times that we need to open our eyes and see the stars shining bright.  We learn things, experience things, and grow through those dark moments.  The stars shine the brightest on the darkest of nights, couldn't we shine the brightest during our darkest of times?  During our darkest times we exhibit our strength, faith, perseverance, and become all the more stronger because of it.  If we didn't go through those times we wouldn't know the strength we have within, and sometimes we still don't see that strength, but it is still there.

We all have gone through and will continue to go through periods of darkness.  One time may be darker than the next, but each time we manage to make it through to dawn.  We never know what life is going to throw at us, which means we can never be fully prepared.  I think that is what makes things so hard to handle, we never know what to expect or how to fight it head on.  No one wants to have cancer, no one expects to lose a loved one, but we all experience those dark times. We look at those times as if they are bad experiences, but what if they are good?  What if it is because of those experiences that we are the people we are?

Maybe we need to travel through the darkness in order to find our dawning light.  If we sit and wallow in our despair and night, then we won't progress.  We won't find the morning and then be able to appreciate the beauty that was within our darkness.  When we look back on those times with new eyes we can see the stars and see the goodness that will come from that experience.  But for some reason we do find that hard to do.  I wonder why.  Why do we find it so darn hard to see the good that comes from troubled times?  The strength we gain or the new people we have become?