“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

For some reason this quote is really hitting home for me. So often in life we cry over a lot of missed opportunities whether it is a failed relationship or the loss of a loved one. There is so much in life that occurs that breaks our hearts and breaks us down. It is a wonder many of us don’t simply crumble to the ground from despair (and many actually do). Why does it always hurt so much? We look back on things and always feel a pang of pain and grief for some odd reason. But while there is pain there is also many things that we should be happy about and memories that we should cherish as happiness rather than pain.

Why is it that we harbor so much pain regardless of what causes it? We have such a hard time finding happiness and things that will make us smile. I asked a friend a question regarding this the other day; I asked him “doesn’t being with your friends and doing things you love make you happy?” His response was “No, it’s a distraction.” How many of us have that same thought? Things we do are just a distraction to get us through the day so we don’t think about the pain we feel. What if we look at a happy memory and smile rather than think of a painful one and cry? What if we refuse to allow a negative image hit our minds but rather focus on the happy ones? Why are we so driven by negativity?

Dr Seuss said it perfectly smile and be happy things happen. Why can’t we find happiness in the smallest things in life so that the hardships are easier to handle? Even in the toughest of struggles there is something to smile about, but for some reason we can never see it. We are blind to happiness even though we are forever searching for it. We cry when we should be smiling. Is it even possible to turn that thought around and smile at all times?

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!”
― Bob Marley


We spend so much time judging others and worring about whether or not someone else is judging us. We are constantly concerned about how others will perceive our actions, words, or personalities. At the same time while we are worrying about it, we are doing that exact thing to others around us. We expect perfection from those around us yet at the same time expect them to accept us for who we are. Why? Why do have this unrealistic expectation? The moment we meet someone we begin to judge them based off some unknown criteria that we have created. Or if we hear something about someone we judge.

As Bob Marley said "I'm not perfect," no one is. We all have faults and fail to live up to expectations from time to time. Is it fair for us to judge someone based on that? When we are quick to judge why don't we look at ourselves and realize that we are the farthest thing from perfect as well. We point fingers so fast and don't look at ourselves. Could it be because we are afraid to look at ourselves for who we are? Will we not like ourselves if we did that? Why are we afraid to admit to our own faults and failures?

God has no religion.
Each one prays to God according to his own light.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have always said that no one religion was correct. Not one religion had the whole complete truth, but that we can learn a little something from each other. I have always held the same though as Gandhi's quote. We all worship the same God but in different ways. We believe in high power no matter if you call it Shiva, Jesus, Allah, Zeus or any other name. Why must we be at each other's throats fighting over who is right? It is quite possible that no one is correct. What if the higher being is sitting up there (or where ever) frustrated that we just are not getting it?

Each faith can teach us all something different not just about the faith itself but also ourselves. There is so much to this world and each other than what name we call our god or how we worship it. Once we learn to realize that, this world could be a better place. We can learn to love one another as Mother Teresa stated. Sure we are different, but does that need to seperate us? Do we really need to hate each other and fight because of it?

The divine is as it is. We can never know if it is gendered or nongender, has a name or simply is. We can't even know if it honestly exists until that time comes, so whay does there need to be so much hate over it? Its all a matter of difference of opinion and is that really worth it? Its like telling someone you aren't going to like them because the don't like to eat mushrooms or that they don't like to play video games. Why can't we just agree to disagree and coexist?

In order to hold on to thoughts of anger, bitterness, revenge, guilt, and shame, we have to use a lot of energy. ~ Edwene Gaines

Many of us are prone to holding grudges against one another. We spend out engery remaining angry and bitter towards someone for doing something we felt had wronged us. Sometimes we want to plan on how to get revenge, how to get t hem back for hurting us and causing us pain. All that takes so much energy, more energy than forgiving them and forgetting about it. But for some reason we find it hard to forget wrongs done to us, no matter how minor. We let the anger and bitterness consume our minds and sometimes we lose sleep, and even sometimes our appetites. It drains us emotionally to where we are simply tired. Is it worth it?

Why do we find it so hard to let go of things that consistanly cause us pain? Why do we spend so much energy on something that brings so much negativity into our lives and hearts? We have such a hard time letting go of bitterness and anger towards others that it only hurts us. What does it do to the other person for us to remain angry towards them? Nothing. It doesn't take any energy from them, just from us. Think of how much happier we'd all be if we were able to just let go of these feelings. We harbor so much pain that we are too tired to notice all the good.

Why can't we let things go? Why does our anger and bitterness and guilt need to rule our lives so much more than happiness and love? Have we truly abandoned all hope of something better?

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself." ~ Paulo Coelho

This somewhat goes with the post I wrote about the quote from Chinua Achebe. In that post I talked about how we try our hardest to avoid the suffering we endure throughout life. I also stated that we tend to avoid the suffering because we are afraid of it. We are afraid of the possibilty that we cannot overcome the struggle.

I am not sure if the fear we have is the fear of the struggle itself or rather the fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing what will happen, fear of not knowing how to handle it, fear of not knowing. We try to avoid it all because we are unsure of the situation, unsure of how to proceed once it happens and then once it is all over. Would life be the same, or would things be totally different? Struggles in our lives turn our worlds upside down and we don't know how to cope. We fear being outside of our comfort zone, and trials take us out of them.

Our fears dominate our lives and sometimes makes things bigger/worse than they actually are. So how do we get past that so that we may be able to face our struggles head on? How do we learn to no longer fear the unknown?

"When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool." ~ Chinua Achebe

How often have we tried to run and hide from our sufferings? Tried to pretend that it didn't exist? "If I don't acknowledge it then it isn't happening" is somewhat of the mentality that we have when it comes to suffering of one sort or the other. We like to pretend it isn't happening to us, but maybe to someone else. Because simply ignoring our sufferings will make it go away right?

We only want to face the good things in life, we never want to face to bad. We try to avoid it at all costs, so when something occurs we run away scared. Im not saying some of life's struggles aren't scarey because they are, we just run away instead of trying to figure out how to conquer them. We tell the struggles there is no room in our lives like Achebe stated.

But regardless of how we act towards our tribulations, or how much we try to pretend they are not there; they remain. We will always have something to struggle with, and it is possible that the best way to handle them is to accept it and invite them in.

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
― George Bernard Shaw

We hear young people saying that they need to “find themselves” or people say they “Found themselves” in college or some other life altering experience. The things we go through aren’t about finding who we are. I think we know who we are all along, we just need to create and mold the person we are into the person we desire. We know the type of person we are and it isn’t like we lost ourselves. How can we be hidden from the one person we cannot hide from?

Sometimes we choose the things we experience and other times life decides what we go through. But each time we handle something and grow, we create a new aspect of ourselves or increase one we have already created. It makes more sense that we create who we are rather than find ourselves. From the time we begin to explore the world around us we are shaping ourselves and creating who we will become once we are older, even then we are still shaping and molding ourselves. Heck at 31; I am still shaping and molding myself. I wouldn’t say I found myself more of I understood who I was better after some experiences.

I understand being lost in the world and unsure of where to go in life, but I would think that is different from being lost within oneself. You still know who you are as a person, the lost feeling seems to just be another thing that adds to the person and helps create that sense of being.